Bipolar disorder ruins lives. It can ruin the life of a person who has the disorder but it can take more than a tragic toll on the life of a bystander in the family, particularly and uniquely the spouse.

The sad thing is that spouses are harmed because they are trying to do a good thing; they are trying to stay and support the person with the bipolar disorder.

What are some of the problems that spouses of bipolar sufferers face?

One problem that can be a major problem is the emergence of anger and physical and emotional abuse.

A form of an addiction such as alcohol or drugs may be a problem.

The inability to take an interest other than in them is a problem.

Poor management of money and the disregard for bills can result in foreclosures; repossessions and loss of basic services such as fuel and water.

They present daily uncertainty in life. Will they take their medicine today? Will they quit their job for no reason? Will they buy something that they have no hope of paying for?

Will they leave for awhile?

Will they be unfaithful on a whim?

Why do spouses of people who are ill stay despite the problems?

Certainly some people stay with their spouses because of their religious beliefs. However there are many more reasons than that.

To get a few first-hand reasons, I interviewed my wife who went through very deep waters when I was diagnosed in 1985.

Spouses stay with those who are sick because they don't want to break up the family, for the children. They don't know what they will do especially if the are unemployed. They don't leave for fear of the unknown. As my wife said no matter how bad things are, at least you know what it is. Some spouses don't leave because they are afraid of what might happen to their spouse if they do.

People stay out of a hope that they can help the person; they think they can help them get on their medicine and stay on it.

Of course there are other reasons but any time someone does, the person with the bipolar disorder is very lucky.

What are some steps spouses of bipolar disorder sufferers can take?

A key thing that spouses should do is take complete control of the finances. A person with bipolar disorder is not trustworthy. A person with bipolar disorder should not have access to a credit card.

A person with bipolar disorder should not be allowed on the computer or have access to a phone when alone because of the pull towards sexual issues such as "900 numbers."

The spouse should be a member of a support group for strength and ideas.

The spouse of a person with bipolar disorder should get counseling for help as well as take time to themselves to rest from the tension of life.

As time goes on then rights can be given back to the ill spouse as they prove they can and will take their medicine.

There is one other issue and that is physical abuse. When a person is not in a bipolar state they need to talk with their spouse and an attorney that if any physical abuse is even hinted at they will be arrested. Further, if a spouse ever senses even a hint of physical abuse they need to call for help be it family or police and/or they need to leave.

Spouses of those who are battling bipolar deserve every break they can get. What they are doing is nothing less than performing an honorable mission.

References:

http://ezinearticles.com/?Information-for-Spouses-of-Husbands-and-Wives-with-Bipolar-Disorder&id=665131
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/articles/BipolarSpouse.asp

Personal Observation

1 Comment

• LivingWithBipolar said on Sep 6 2011 at 3:27 AM

  I like your site!
  
  I'm not bipolar and lost my wife of 15 years to this illness.
  She would run-off for days at a time and then spend our money without any regards of its value.
  
  Once she would return she would ask for my forgiveness until one day she was caught stealing booze at a corner drug store. Our lives were ruined forever.
  
  Let the Lord be our guide!